the current of our life and marriage is changing. i can feel it in waves as i carry this new life inside me. its already apart of us, our focus, our daily conversation. i can feel it in our love that's evolving to something bigger than us, to a family we're creating. if its not me feeling it, feeling so overwhelmed with love its bob saying he feels more in love than ever.
we haven't even seen our babies face yet, and i can finally call bobby a dad and have it feel real because i know how much he already is to this baby in me. there is life that depends on he and i. he says he feels more protective and sheltering of me than ever before. i see him wanting to do things for the baby. wanting to spoil it already. wanting to work now so that he can take time off when the baby is here acting like a dad already in love with his child.
i feel it in our rhythms a sign of things to come a common focus our family. things around seem peripheral to all that is growing in the banks of winter winds. it confirms all i know to be true of love. that it never fades or washes away but it something so true it remains forever a constant essence which can only grow more and more powerful with time.
some days it feels like spring is almost here the sun is so bright and air is fresh i can feel the life below. other days the temperatures drop and the winds set in rattling our windows and i know the life below needs more time to digest and so we rest too storing up for to come.
i don't know how couples do it who lose a child. how marriages learn to ride so many different currents in the tides of life. i'm glad i'm not alone in raising this being. i'm glad i can count on bobby and rely on him. i'm glad he is there to take care of me and me of him.
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