Tonight Shadden and I visited my students whom I have been separated from for a year to parent my own youngin.'
I wish Bobby was there too. I wish he could help me steady my pace when my thoughts are spreading so fast and jumpy and I have to remind myself the nightly tasks and focus on being present. I wish he could have driven home and let me spew and churn everything that is rising up inside.
I want to be better. I want to give better lives. I want to be there for them and my son. I want to shelter and protect. I want to be as pure and loving as my son.
I got a reality check seeing my students with new freshman challenges of hormones, boys, and the quest for love, studying, balancing responsibility and freedom, figuring out who they are in a crowd of competitive peers and insecurities, and the big life uh ohs contrasted with my year watching a new life unfold.
It makes me welly to think of my students and grateful beyond anything for this growing, learning, miraculous year with my first born.
How beautiful to see again hearts you prayed over years prior. Old students came up reminding me of my first days at SEED as well as my students whom I trod the majority of my journey alongside. I have a letter writing in my heart for each one and for my son and prayers everywhere for it all to my Everwatching, Everloving, God.
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