a still small voice

today, i walked through the woods alone, something i haven't done for a while. it made me so nostalgic of growing up in michigan. i loved walking behind the house in the ravine. i started laughing at myself thinking how weird i must have seemed. this girl walking around by the river with her cats following, singing to herself. i thought of how my family teased me for being day dreamy, reading and writing all the time in my room. good thing no one went back in the ravine except ryan.

it felt so nice to go and wander to whatever thing i saw glimmering off the trail with no one to stop me. i got to sit by the creek and chase aimless wonderings.

i got to be with the sky, and the woods, and the river, and the rocks, and the beavers, and God, and myself.

i sent out my day with an easter prayer but felt like a string with a knot in it. during the course of the walk i hit my point. i was ready to go because i could just feel it inside. like a dose of medicine. i drank it in. my knot was gone and i did not even remember it being untied or why it was even there in the first place. i was loose with arms free head to the sun.

i thought about how God sent angels to mary and joseph, but at separate occasions when they were not together, but alone. i thought about how God spoke to elizabeth and zachariah but not while they were together. i thought about how we use faith together in marriage as partners but how God intentionally meets us when we are alone. faith is a reply. when it comes down to it, God wants my heart, my answer, my decision. When my Lord comes to me and appears, i and only i can say, "i trust you."

this easter, i feel the reminder to rise up. during my mad gardening the past few days i've been pruning, finding life, and plants full of energy. every green leaf and golden blossom rejuvenates me. i love seeing them grow and stand up on their tippy toes leaning back into the windy sun rays. i feel God's touch reminding me that Jesus is risen! that the brown casing is a mirage a shadow. we are seeds waiting to bloom. i am called to bear fruit and rise up just like my maker.