firsts

i have this strange emotion. i am experiencing so many firsts in marriage with my husband. first apartments, first visits, first introductions, first jobs, first cars, first trips to other countries, first moves together, first neices, first nephews, first home, and all the future firsts that hang off somewhere just waiting to happen. it stirs this thing inside me.

it makes me almost shocked or surprised at how wild it is that we continue to do everything together. that we are for life. that we are growing up together. that this is my boy to experience all the crazy firsts with....forever. with so many people coming and going its almost hard for me to believe. as if i expect something to happen. as if i can't really believe that forever could truly be forever. that something could really last. that love could really do all God says it can. i stand surprised as i wash my face to get ready for bed that again we are experiencing another first....together. maybe its because we just got excited going to our first trip to lowe's, but as i get into my pajamies watching bobby sitting nearby on the couch, i see every familiar rhythm as a blinking sign. i climb into bed and ask bobby how late he'll be up. he asks me to cuddle. we have made a life together. God has created us into something--some mismashed pair of an entity that lives together. we huddle up, plan, scheme, dream our dreams, pray, and rejoice as our once single now joined life truly is something like "one."

"not talking bout a year, no not three or four. i don't want that kind of forever in my life anymore. forever always seems to be around when things begin. but forever never seems to be around when it ends. so give me your forever..."

-ben harper