when the toll of the business of life (partly compiled by two jobs and moving) feels like minutes are densely condensed into the hours of the day and not the tranquil hours of languid peace like I desire them to be, this verse has brought me true saving grace. 
"For I am about to do a brand-new thing.
See, I have
already begun!
Do you not see it?
I will make a pathway
through the wilderness
for my people
to come home.
I will create rivers
for them in the desert!
Isaiah 43:19 (NLT)
when my entire self feels weary and bogged down by "it all." i feel like i am barely breathing. i repeat to myself, "a river in the desert. a river in the desert." for My Mother always provides a way. and somehow, i feel the breathe inside me. and the Holy Spirit moves me on. and beautifully, magically everyday is loaded with some nugget of inspiration. sometimes it is a brook or a stream. sometimes i have to remind myself of miracles. that God can truly create a river in a desert. and sometimes, i feel that river inside of me.
"But now, O Israel, the Lord who created you says:
"Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.
I have called you by name; you are mine.
When you go through deep waters and great trouble,
I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown!
.....you are precious to me.
You are honored, and I love you.
Be not afraid for I am with you."
Isaiah 43: 1-2, 4-5
my daily messages of hope:
-watching the sunrise while driving to work
-when my girls are all reading together silently concentrating
-processing with bobby
-seeing hailey say. "kiki!" and run to me asking me to hold her and play
-savannah's beautiful sky opening grin and scuttle to be near in all the action, craving every caress
-stopping by the park for a brief prayer in the rich spring greeness
-free reading
-crying at the pain and the beauty of the storytelling
-holding mason, learning/knowing his smell, how he likes to shift his head into the top of my bicep and get a little taste of my arm with his baby suck, singing to him, having him fall asleep on me turning into a kitty purr, hearing the sweet noises he makes.
-the joy of driving up to "our house"
-feeling the support of the arms of my marriage
-planting in the garden
-enjoying the pentrating rays of sunshine
-the laughter of my students
-tutoring...the moment when the student really starts to get it and believes she can
do it and gets that curve of a smile as she works so hard, making every letter and number as perfectly as she can
-feeling the background reassurance...knowing that my marriage is in good hands. that it is one thing i do not need to stress in, but just enjoy
-the comfort of sisterhood conversations at work, finding believers in unexpected places
-the support of bobby taking care of me having dinner ready when i come home and treats for me to eat
-watching the sunrise while driving to work
-when my girls are all reading together silently concentrating
-processing with bobby
-seeing hailey say. "kiki!" and run to me asking me to hold her and play
-savannah's beautiful sky opening grin and scuttle to be near in all the action, craving every caress
-stopping by the park for a brief prayer in the rich spring greeness
-free reading
-crying at the pain and the beauty of the storytelling
-holding mason, learning/knowing his smell, how he likes to shift his head into the top of my bicep and get a little taste of my arm with his baby suck, singing to him, having him fall asleep on me turning into a kitty purr, hearing the sweet noises he makes.
-the joy of driving up to "our house"
-feeling the support of the arms of my marriage
-planting in the garden
-enjoying the pentrating rays of sunshine
-the laughter of my students
-tutoring...the moment when the student really starts to get it and believes she can
do it and gets that curve of a smile as she works so hard, making every letter and number as perfectly as she can-feeling the background reassurance...knowing that my marriage is in good hands. that it is one thing i do not need to stress in, but just enjoy
-the comfort of sisterhood conversations at work, finding believers in unexpected places
-the support of bobby taking care of me having dinner ready when i come home and treats for me to eat
-taking to corin on the couch at night
-walking through the park between shifts
-answered prayers
-laying in the grass in the sun
thank you Lord, for your true providence, making miracles, sustaining moments, boundless energy, heart to heart connections, feeling your love, joy, peace, hope and the sitting in the quiet moments you give me to rest.
